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I recall having read about Father Kallingal, the late journalist RGK’s physics teacher in south India, in one of the compilations of RGK’s popular column Acute and Obtuse. He writes that Kallingal would raise his right hand and demonstrate the swing of the pendulum with his index finger. “That’s how it’s”, he would say, “From to to fro and from fro to to”. The students would laugh derisively. That reminds me of Prof. X who teaches in our engineering college and is our own version of Father Kallingal. Here’s a sample of Prof. X’s unintentional and unwitting gaffes (published solely for laughs.)

• "Outermost backside”

• "Your presentee is absentee."

• "Mere mendu pe burden mat dalo"

(What he meant: Don’t burden my brains.)

• "Let us suppose assume...”

• Once while assessing assignments, he said, “This is wrong, W–O-N-G, wrong”.

• Once he wrote, “Circuit is connected in delta fassion.”

(What he meant: The circuit is connected in delta fashion.)

• "What ij the my quosten?”

(What he meant: What is (was) my question?)

• He wanted to ask a question to a student who was seated between two others on the last but one bench:

"You, you...last but one middle. Please stand up and answer the question""

• [To an errant student:]

"Sit down and get out of the class."

• [When the principal makes his daily round in the college building]

“Come quickly, the principal is revolving around the college.”

“Please do not make noise in lab, principal is rotating.”

• “Given below is the figure of the circuit given in the diagram.”

• “This problem will cause a lot of confusation (confusion) in your mind.”

• “Morning morning don’t rotate my head.”

(What he meant: Don’t make my head spin so early in the day.)

• “Wrong mistake”

• “Engineering like vector, theory, magnitude, term work, direction.”

• “When you come lab, you be pen, you be pencil, you be rubber, you be scale, you be journal; otherwise no come lab.”

• “If u want to entry, entry; otherwise disentry.”

(What he meant: Enter if you want to, or leave.)

• “When you go out of lab, you home or canteen. Don’t here and there in carridor.”

(What he meant: When you leave the lab, go home or to the canteen. Don’t loiter here and there in the corridor.)

• “This is the only definition. What is the other one?”

• Once Prof. X along with his wife met a student at a railway station. Then he introduced his wife to the student, “Meet our wife, Mrs. X.”

• “I have seen my eyej.”

(What he meant: I saw with my eyes.)

• "You, you come and shit in phront of the phrist bhench.”

(What he meant: You come and sit here in front, on the first bench.)

• “Don’t stand in front of my back.”

(What he meant: Don’t stand behind me.)

• “I don’t want to get out the shtudant. It ij the not my intensity.”

(What he meant: I don’t want to send any students out of the class. It is not my intention.)

• “I have seen past 3-4 years....proxy students.”

• “If you catch, I punish.”

(What he meant: If you are caught, I shall punish you.)

• [His views on gender differences]

“You are boy, he is girl. But in Bombay culture both are same.”

• “Who is need? I am not need. You is only need. If you follow my direction then you will not fell down. Either you will remain as it ij or you will only expand forward.”

• [While pulling up some errant students:]

“I want to see all your fathers.”

(What he meant: I want to meet each one’s father.)

• [While teaching vector dot and cross product:]

“There is a cross. There is a no cross, there is a dot, remember.”

• “I will just reference your memory.”

• “Friends, have you finished writing on the board? I rubs it off.”

What he meant: If you have finishing writing down from
the blackboard, I’ll erase it.)

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Your Birthdate: May 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper. You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality. Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure. Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone. Your strength: Your larger than life imagination Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered Your power color: Lime Your power symbol: Lightening bolt Your power month: March

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